Willy Pete


Alias Willy Pete
Gender Male
Status Alive
First Appearance Willy Pete

Willy Pete is a fire-based supervillain. And a "kludge mind".

Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]

Willy Pete's body is a mass of fire. He is capable of generating heat similar to that of a nuclear explosion. He has survived being shot in the head multiple times, and instantly regrew his hand after having it severed by Lotus Nodes. He is also theorized to be capable of teleportation, as he is able to appear and disappear without anyone seeing him.

Willy Pete often describes himself as "a goddamn fire elemental". According to Mindfuck, he is an artificial personality, possessing a kludge mind assembled from a jumble of neurological hacks and persona fragments.

Personality[edit | edit source]

Willy Pete has insatiable physical and sexual appetites. He has difficulty satisfying his urges, as anything he touches tends to be instantly rendered to ash by his incredible body heat. He has taken to preying on suprahumans, as their bodies are sometimes strong enough for him to rape them and eat their flesh before they are completely incinerated. However, he targets only D-listers, to avoid attracting unwanted attention from anyone powerful enough to pose a threat to him.

Stories[edit | edit source]

Willy Pete first appears in Willy Pete, in a flashback/nightmare by Thugboy. Thugboy's group of Witless Minions had taken a job working as henchmen for Willy Pete in order to steal from them. When Willy Pete found out, he raped all of them except Thugboy to death.

Witless Minions 4-Eva reveals how Thugboy survived. He used a cryogun obtained in a previous job to freeze Willy Pete solid, then fired several bullets into his skull before fleeing. Willy Pete survived unharmed, and Thugboy spent his life in fear of Willy Pete eventually tracking him down and getting revenge.

In My Definition of Team-Up, a group of supervillains including Katastrophe, Baby Bird, and Kid Anglerfish asks Willy Pete to join their team-up. Willy Pete rapes them to death and eats them.

Kid Anglerfish's father, Anglerfish, subsequently informs Empowered of his son's fate, and she convinces the Superhomeys to go after him. Thugboy is brought in for a consult in Upon My Back, the Monkey of Worry and tries to impress on them the immense danger of Willy Pete, but Major Havoc blows off the danger, saying that he's fought lots of fire-based supervillains before and that Willy Pete has only killed normal humans and D-list nobodies.

In Say That I Deserve This, Major Havoc leads a team of ten superheroes in a raid against Willy Pete. Willy Pete incinerates eight of them instantly with a blast of nuclear-level heat; Major Havoc and Turbobrain are the only survivors. He then sticks his arm through the Lotus Node they entered his lair through, destroying Joint Superteam Space Station 3 and killing Mindfuck.

In Excessively Talkative, Sistah Spooky reports that according to "every form of divination, datamining, and superscience semi-omniscience available of suprahumanity", Willy Pete appears to no longer exist anywhere in this reality.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

'Willy pete' is slang for white phosphorus[1], a substance that bursts into flame upon contact with air.

Quotes[edit | edit source]

"Well, nobody gets over on ol' Willy Pete. So I took it out in trade from your budies. Intimate trade. But you know me... my lovin' is hot. Very, very hot. So I hadda do 'em in th' ol' eye sockets. That's the only part of a normal human's anatomy that's sturdy enough to take ol' Willy Pete's lovin' for long. The rest of th' fragile ol' human body just burns an' melts an' vaporizes away before I can get off. A man has needs, know what I'm saying? Especially when his manhood burns hotter'n the surface of th' sun. Be lyin' if I didn't admit that th' screamin' helps get me off."
-- Willy Pete, Willy Pete
"Don't worry... I ain't perceivin' you two as just super sex obkects. My needs're more complex'n that. See, ever since I became what I am... I don't need t'eat anymore. Some kinda elemental power thing, I guess. But y'know, I do miss eatin' regardless. Problem is, any damn thing I try to eat instantly turns t' ashes in m'mouth 'fore I can even taste it. An' I like m' steaks medium-rare, not carbonized t' bitter-ass cinders. Good thing I got alla you capes kickin' around, huh? Your superstrong flesh, I can actually taste. An' it tastes good. M'heat cooks it up just right in m'mouth, all savory-like."
-- Willy Pete, My Definition of Team-Up
"Guess th' white capes might be underestimatin' ol' Willy Pete jus' a li'l bit less, next time around."
-- Willy Pete, Say That I Deserve This
  1. Citation needed
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